black holes and depression

On October 30, 2017, in BLOG, by brendajohima

*As one who has dealt with depression on and off for longer than I would like to admit, I, as most of us who struggle are, are always looking for inspiration, tricks, tips and tools to find our way out when in the depths of it all … the black hole or the black dog as some call it.

This is a good read, by Stephen Hawking, if you need a hand with depression: Are You Depressed?

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Never give up work. Work gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. If you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don’t throw it away.”

—Stephen Hawking

Stephen also makes a comparison in the article to black holes and depression and says:

“…if you feel you are in a black hole, don’t give up; there’s a way out…”

—Stephen Hawking

I hope that this helps somebody out there today, as it sure did help me.

Always Love,
Brenda

(* Disclaimer : I am not a medical professional, consultant or expert. This is my own personal journal of thoughts and writings and I’m not providing recommendations. Please make sure you do what works for YOU only and only what is right and safe for you personally. Please seek out the professional advice of a counsellor, your physician, psychologist, local hospital or otherwise. Thanks!)

 

Creative Experimentation

On October 30, 2017, in BLOG, by brendajohima

With all the gorgeous fall colors I’ve been seeing online, I’ve been searching for stunning locations also.

Sometimes it’s not meant to be, so you need to change tracks, go with the flow and just have fun. I found no locations with the type of imagery I wanted to create, so I let it go and made up a personal project on the spot instead.

That’s what I did yesterday; parked my car in numerous locations and made abstract images of cars in motion with the fall colors creating the backdrop.

Being outdoors with ceativity is always good for the brain.

Always Love,

Brenda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can’t Change It

On October 30, 2017, in BLOG, by brendajohima

Maybe I need to reconsider acceptance, which I wrote about yesterday and as soon as I wrote the words, I knew my brain may be tricking me. As soon as I clicked publish, I knew my brain may be playing tricks on me.

Accepting the things from our past that we can’t change, like a health diagnosis for example, may not be easy, but may be necessary.

I thought about deleting my post from yesterday but instead, it’s better to keep learning instead and to keep on moving forward.

Make any sense?

Here’s what I mean, as Mel Robbins speaks about acceptance and Hal Elrod and his “5 Minute Rule” and his thoughts on “accept all things you can’t change” and his tool that he uses when “you can’t change it.”

Have a listen:

“You Can’t Change It.”

Always Love,

Brenda

 

Brenda Johima*Why the stigma for us regular folk? Let’s all be done with hiding of mental health challenges, mental illness, disabilities of all sorts, especially the invisibles ones that we work even harder to hide.

From insomnia to severe sleep deprivation, depression, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, post concussion syndrome, fibromyalgia, the only few that I can speak to personally, what would be the difference between me disclosing that publicly online, and a celebrity or Olympic level athlete doing the same? Well, aside from the millions of dollars and multi-million dollar homes that they may own that I don’t (yet) … nothing … no difference.

We are all equal as human beings.

So I am courageously claiming my right to disclose without discrimination, and with pride, my disabilities.

While I deal only with the above, on a daily basis, 24/7, here is why I feel entitled to not hide it from the public online anymore :

  1. I still believe in miracles. I still believe every morning when I wake up that somehow I will be cured, healed, and my challenges will be gone, forever. I keep on trying. You just never know. If you never hope, never keep trying, it could never happen. Trust me, I want all of this stuff to go away. As one who used to be a runner, when I ran 5 miles a day, it was the norm in the morning to get up, lace up, and go jog, or get to the pool by 6 AM. In my mind; every morning I STILL think that way, even if I don’t (yet) take the action to be able to run every day anymore. There must be hope for a cure or my brain would have given up by now? Oh, I know what you are thinking … acceptance, right? Accept of what is … yes, I do that too … on some days when able; I accept that this is my life, and is meant to be, but on most days I am still trying to figure out how to fully heal myself and believe that I CAN and WILL. So IF a cure is possible, then WHY would I need to hide the fact that I have it?
  2. Celebrities and top level Olympic athletes do and can disclose whatever is going on with them, whether by choice or paparazzi. (hopefully the former) We are all equal. I don’t need to list names of famous people (we all can Google them) who have come forward with their personal challenges with depression, anxiety, bipolar, eating disorders, PTSD, insomnia and sleep deprivation, MS, Parkinson’s, addictions and more … I applaud them ALL for their courage. Thank you.  Now let’s give the rest of us a break and level the playing field. It is OK for ALL of us to talk about this.
  3. All disabilities come with gifts. Yes, we who struggle with disabilities daily, have things that place us as just as employable, equal and talented in some areas; including in business. Let me explain that in a future post.

That’s all for now. A short post, to be continued, because it is a gorgeous day out there and I want to get out and enjoy the SUN with my camera and my dog, before it starts raining on Vancouver Island for months on end … or maybe even snowing?

Always Love,
Brenda

(* Disclaimer : I am not a medical professional, consultant or expert. This is my own personal journal of thoughts and writings and I’m not providing recommendations. Please make sure you do what works for YOU only and only what is right and safe for you personally online. I am just sharing my personal choice at this time. I also know that due to online bullying and for other reasons, it’s not safe for everybody to share online. Listen to your gut, smarts and heart, and if in doubt, seek out the professional advice of a counsellor, your physician, psychologist or otherwise. Thanks!)

 

the way out

On October 28, 2017, in BLOG, poetry, by brendajohima

meaningless mind wandering

stuck in the head

body detached from grounding breath

lost in suffering

no way out

until her dog

made her laugh

/brenda johima

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Truth

On October 28, 2017, in BLOG, poetry, by brendajohima

Truth is the way

In

Out

Through

Around

Over

Out

If you are brave enough

/brenda johima

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Her World

On October 28, 2017, in BLOG, poetry, by brendajohima

her world became so small

smaller than she wanted to admit

to anyone

not even herself

prison life would be busier

she thought

and she quickly snapped herself out of that thought

/brenda johima

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The Journey by Mary Oliver

On October 28, 2017, in BLOG, poetry, by brendajohima

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice–

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

“Mend my life!”

each voice cried.

But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do–

determined to save

the only life you could save.

by Mary Oliver

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I AM

On October 27, 2017, in BLOG, by brendajohima

I AM

By using two of the most powerful words, “I AM” … it is one way to help free the self from ALL limiting thoughts. Put what you are or what you want to be, right behind those two words, and repeat it out loud, over and over. I start my day with this and also have it playing in the background when I am doing tasks around the house and even in my car while I am driving, if on a really challenging day.

This I AM audio has been getting me through difficult times since August, when a beautiful friend pointed me to these I AM affirmations.

If you are right there with me, seeing this as a helpful tool, enjoy! I hope it helps as it has helped, and is helping me.

However, maybe you have had it with affirmations and metaphysics and “positive thinking?”

I hear you, if you are feeling discouraged and done with affirmations, and have had it with positive thinking affirmations. Ignore, and wait for my next blog post instead 🙂

I started on the metaphysical path in the 1980’s with Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life. I feel fortunate that I got to see her in person when I lived in Vancouver. I used the the books, audio (cassette tapes back then) tools of metaphysics and hung out with the people for many years.

Then life fell off track (for longer than I wish to admit) and I became disgruntled with the multimillion dollar metaphysical  industry.

Long story short, I have come back, full circle, using the tools again, but this time, alongside some other modern tools and teachings, not having this (affirmations) be the only way to heal and to change a life. It is simply one tool in a huge bag of helpful techniques.

I have listened to this I AM audio over and over again, and except for a few sentences and words that I may not agree with (ignore them), I cannot see anything harmful in using this, and only helpfulness. I hope it is of help to you also. If nothing else, it can be used as a distraction from a busy mind and to place focus elsewhere, off of personal problems. It can’t hurt!

Truly, it is currently one of my favourites.

Always Love,
Brenda

 

 

a lonely fall day

On October 27, 2017, in BLOG, by brendajohima

I promised myself to take at least one photo a day and post online, whether award winning or subpar. Why? Commitment. To commit to not give up even if the going gets tough, which it has been lately.

Titled : “a lonely fall day”

Always Love,

Brenda

(p.s. A brand new Website is coming soon, to better showcase my images … it’s in the works)

 

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